Our Voices: A Blog by Links, Callers and Volunteers

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Monday, October 25, 2010

From the Beginning

By: Reva Borgen, Sharsheret Peer Supporter

After getting the dreaded diagnosis of breast cancer, "luck" was not part of my vocabulary. That all changed when I sat down at my computer in the middle of the night and sent a desperate message to a fledgling organization that was aimed at helping young Jewish women newly diagnosed with breast cancer. I had no idea who was going to read my e-mail or who was going to respond. All I knew was that I was terrified and that I needed someone to talk to. The voice on the other end belonged to Sharsheret’s Founder Rochelle Shoretz. She told me about herself and the organization she started to help women like me. I was quickly connected with a Link, a Peer Supporter, a woman with the same diagnosis as mine. My Link calmly told me about her surgery and subsequent treatments. I was speaking to someone who had survived the nightmare that I was living. This conversation helped me to keep my fears in check as I confidently underwent my surgical procedure, chemotherapy, and radiation treatments.

Shortly after completing my treatment, Rochelle asked if I would participate in a CBS News segment in honor of Sharsheret’s 1-year anniversary. How exciting! Eight women celebrated not just the first anniversary of Sharsheret, but also feelings of unity, triumph, and admiration for one other. I will never forget when Rochelle shared a remarkable story about how Sharsheret was able to connect two Rebbetzins on opposite sides of the country - two women with similar diagnoses, both involved in their communities, who were able to provide support to one another. We were all amazed at the amount of phone calls that were coming in from all over the country and even a few from different countries.

When Rochelle asked me to become a Peer Supporter, I felt extremely grateful because I was finally in a position to give strength to someone else. What she didn't know was how much strength I gained by helping other women facing a breast cancer diagnosis. At the time of my diagnosis, I had four children ranging in age from nursery school to high school. I was able to speak to women who had children similar ages to mine. “How did you tell them? What did you tell them? How much information is appropriate for my son/daughter?” These are the most common questions that I have been asked. I would like to think that when I say the words “You're going to be okay and your kids will be too,” the women with whom I speak can exhale and believe that it is possible.

It’s amazing how much Sharsheret has grown over the last ten years. Instead of eight women, there are over 1,000 women in Sharsheret’s Peer Support Network, providing and receiving vital support during a difficult time in our lives. Sharsheret fills this need with the greatest of care, love, and compassion. I feel truly blessed and very lucky to be a part of this incredible organization.

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

I've Never Been So Elated To Be Negative!

By: Jennifer Coleman, Sharsheret Peer Supporter

Today I received some of the best, most relieving news of my life: I tested negative for the breast cancer gene!

After losing my mother to breast cancer when she was 47, and I was 15, I asked every OBGYN I saw, at different ages of my life, and in the various states I lived in, if I should be tested for BRCA. To my surprise, all of them said, “No.”

Not long after I married my husband, Jon, in 2008, I read a beautiful breast cancer memoir, Pretty is What Changes, by Jessica Queller. As I read the book, I decided the OBGYNs were wrong: I absolutely should be tested. Jon and I met with a genetic counselor, but realized we weren’t yet ready to go through with the test, which would yield potentially life-altering results.

Two years later, I consulted my mom’s oncologist, who conveniently is a close cousin. He strongly agreed I should be tested. When I went for my annual OBGYN appointment in June, my doctor set up the test, despite her obvious belief that it was unnecessary. Although the test was scheduled for August, I told my dad and friends that it would be in the fall, in case I tested positive and needed time to process the information alone first.

When I woke with a major bout of anxiety on the day of the test, I quickly called my dad, who was my rock and fellow soldier during my mom’s breast cancer battle two decades earlier. He calmed me down with fatherly facts about breast cancer genetics, as well as kindness and support. He expressed that he had a strong feeling, beyond just a hope, that my results would be negative, which is exactly what Jon and I felt.

That afternoon, I paced up and down the waiting room at the breast center for 45 minutes, which felt like 45 days. Finally, I proceeded to an exam room where a nurse recorded my family history. I was given two small cups of mouthwash and swished each for 30 seconds, then spit into a vial to give a DNA sample. I left the breast center with, if not a fresh attitude, then at least a fresh mouth! They said I’d receive a call with the results in two to three weeks. I told Jon and my dad that the results would come in six weeks - for this high-anxiety waiting game, I wanted no pressure.

The good news came less than a week later. I sobbed happily while the nurse told me I should begin yearly mammograms at 34 (I already began at 30, per my cousin’s advice) and continue self-exams and regular OBGYN visits.

Caring for and helping others is one of my greatest pleasures. Serving as a Sharsheret Peer Supporter will allow me to support women who, like me, have scary but valid genetic-based questions regarding their chances of being diagnosed with breast cancer during their lifetime.