SHARSHERET BENEFIT LUNCHEONMAY 17, 2009

Rochelle L. Shoretz

Founder

Sharsheret

Good afternoon and, on behalf of the Board of Directors of Sharsheret, thank you for being here. I am Rochie Shoretz, Founder of Sharsheret and President of the Board. In these challenging economic times, we so appreciate your continued support of Sharsheret – a support that is even more vital this year for women and families facing costly medical challenges of their own.

Not many people can claim that they enjoy Board meetings of any kind. But over the years, I have had the privilege of working with an incredible group of men and women who have helped shape Sharsheret’s growth in a way that is truly inspiring. This past year, our Board of Directors undertook an extensive strategic planning process to map out the expansion of our organization to address the needs of Jewish women living with ovarian cancer, and we look forward to sharing the results of that effort with you all in the years ahead. Please join me in thanking my fellow Board members for their tireless service and their selfless dedication to Sharsheret: Sherry Cohen, Keith Mendelson, Amy Mines Tadelis, Tani Mirsky, Dana Norris, Jacob Plotsker, Nikki Sausen, Ariel Schochet, Naomi Spira, and Lauryn Weiser. None of our grand ideas as a Board could be implemented without the Director of Operations at Sharsheret, Elana Silber, who keeps us on track and moving forward, and always with a smile – no matter how great the task. And anyone who has met our staff and our interns – Shera Dubitsky, Ellen Kleinhaus, Rebecca Schwartz, Michael Lowy, and Malke Grunberger – knows how truly blessed we are at Sharsheret. Please join us in thanking Elana and the staff of Sharsheret for today’s beautiful event and for all of Sharsheret’s meaningful programs.

When I look around this room and see all 450 of you, it is hard to imagine a time without Sharsheret. But eight years ago, when I was diagnosed with breast cancer for the first time, there was no organization dedicated to supporting young Jewish women facing breast cancer. I was 28 years old, raising two young children, and more than anything, I felt alone.

I have often said that Sharsheret’s success is not the product of one woman’s efforts – that there are thousands of angels who are sitting on my shoulders as Sharsheret grows at a remarkable pace. But these past few months, I have had the privilege of sitting on Sharsheret’s shoulders as I face breast cancer a second time. After my mastectomy in February, I received a Pillow of Support from Sharsheret to elevate my arm, just as so many of you have. Sharsheret’s Link Program has connected me with another woman who opted for the same reconstructive surgery that I was considering. And as I struggle with the concerns of a woman living with Stage IV breast cancer, I have had the support of Sharsheret’s Embrace Program, designed to address the needs of those living with advanced breast cancer. The Sharsheret, the chain, of support that I began eight years ago has come full circle. I began as a link in that chain and now use the strength of other links for my own support.

I am no longer alone in my journey. I have a Sharsheret family.

You are all a part of that Sharsheret family. And, as with all family, we will share good news and we will share sad news. I know that my latest diagnosis is difficult for all of us, and the staff and I thought long and hard about how and when we would share that news. Eight years ago, there was nothing more frightening than the thought of being diagnosed with advanced breast cancer for which, as yet, there is no known cure. But I want to reassure you all that, like so many of our Sharsheret callers diagnosed with Stage IV breast cancer, I am living and enjoying life, one day at a time.

A friend recently invited me out late at night and though I'm always game for fun, I replied via text that I couldn't meet because I was "headed to the DR" the very next day. Two days later, I received a very thoughtful email from the same friend who wanted to know how my doctor's appointment had gone. "I'm on vacation in the Dominican Republic", I texted back. "DR", as in "Dominican Republic" - not "doctor".

The moral of that true story is: I'm living life. I'm not lying on an examination table every day. Sometimes, I'm just lying on the beach. Yes, I am busy with treatments and scans, and I spend lots of time in waiting rooms. But I will continue to weave all this into the fabric of my REAL life - a life that is full of laughter and overflowing with the love of friends and family – my sons, Shlomo and Dovid, my parents and siblings, and of course, my Sharsheret family.

Our guests of honor today – Rochelle Hirsch and Naava Parker - formed their own unique family and, together, created a resource to help other families with young children who are facing breast cancer. Rochelle and Naava, both breast cancer survivors, were introduced by a mutual friend and co-authored “Lumps and Bumps”, a book for children that has recently been purchased by Memorial Sloan Kettering Cancer Center for its youth support program. Like all of Sharsheret’s links and callers, these incredible women began as strangers, but became fast friends, as they used their talents and their shared experience to help others facing the same challenges they had faced years ago.

This is not Rochelle’s first entrepreneurial endeavor. The founder of the 18 year-old Creative Playschool at Fifth Avenue Synagogue and its current chairman, Rochelle and her husband of 37 years, David, were also the original founders of the Upper East Side Hatzolah.

Naava has served as a Sharsheret link for many years and, with her family in Englewood, has been active at the UJA, Emunah, Congregation Ahavat Torah, Ramaz, and the Moriah School.

Naava Parker and Rochelle Hirsch are stellar examples of women who use the experience of their own difficult journeys to smooth the path for those walking behind them. I know firsthand what an impact a book like theirs can have on a family struggling with breast cancer. The morning of my most recent surgery, I woke up to find my boys reading “Lumps and Bumps” to each other at the breakfast table. Naava had thoughtfully dropped off an advance copy of the book at my home, and the boys flipped through the pages as they prepared to start their day. I know that the book reassured them that breast cancer happens to lots of other families. But more important, “Lumps and Bumps” reassured me, their mom, that my childrens’ experience had been validated.

Rochelle and Naava’s undertaking in light of their own experience is an inspiration to all of the women of Sharsheret. They have continued the Sharsheret tradition of turning adversity into opportunity. For their contribution to the breast cancer community and to the community of women and families we serve, Sharsheret is proud to recognize Rochelle Hirsch and Naava Parker.

Rochelle Hirsch's Remarks

Rochelle Hirsch
My Journey
Guest of Honor
Sharsheret Benefit Luncheon 2009

It was Tuesday, May 28th 2002
For a routine mammogram I was due
I will never forget that look of shock and surprise
As my doctor couldn’t believe what was before her eyes

Breast cancer was not what I had in mind
Colon cancer was more my family kind
How could this happen to a woman like me
Breast cancer is non discriminatory- it knows no boundary

I looked at my husband with tears in my eyes
Begging him to make it go away, as I started to cry
But there was nothing that anyone could do
I began the journey my entire family was forced to go through

My life was thrown into chaos, crisis and transformation
Margins, lymph nodes and biopsies became my conversation
And just when I thought it couldn’t get any worse
Mastectomies and chemo became my new verse

The chemo had to be given quick and strong
And then it didn’t take very long
17 days later, I truly was in despair
17 days later, I had lost all my hair

I was a woman who put emphasis on looks
Did I have enough substance, had I read the right books
Would people be uncomfortable, could they look me in the eye
Or would they be thinking, “If it were me, I’d want to die”

The pain and humiliation that I went through
Known only to a special few
The calls from people wanting to meet me just to see
Didn't they realize how I needed my space and privacy

My life was thrown into disarray, but I made a vow
That my three children would never know how
Difficult it was to greet each day with a smile
How difficult it was to go that extra mile


Shabbos dinners at our home were a sight to see
David, Jason, Jeffrey, Stefanie, Casper and little bald me
Each week with a different colored ribbon tied around my head
Each week with so much love unspoken, unsaid

I was fortunate to have my husband David by my side
Steadfast, strong and supportive during that bumpy ride
Never making me feel self-conscious, in fact telling me with great zest
That my old breasts were never winning any beauty contest

So now I’m perky as I can be
But when I hear the word “Survivor” it has a different connotation for me
When life throws you lemons, you make lemonade
And believe it or not, bad memories do fade

Before I had cancer, I had insecurities and self doubt
Now I may not know the answers, but I try to figure things out
And making the effort to do one good deed every day
Gives me the greatest pleasure in every conceivable way

“Lumps and Bumps” was written from my heart
To help those families whose lives are falling apart
Perhaps I was chosen for my journey so I could help
By giving others this part of myself

You can go through life and never be changed
Or you can have your world un-expectantly rearranged
The language of experience that I was forced to learn
Has given me the gift of doing something positive in return

Naava Parker's Remarks

Naava Parker
Guest of Honor
Sharsheret Benefit Luncheon 2009

No one asks for breast cancer, I certainly didn’t. I even used to joke that had anyone asked me I would have responded,
“No thank you, I’ll pass.” No one ever asked.

We don’t know what life has in store for us from one second to the next. We have little control over anything. The only thing we do have control over is how we deal with what gets thrown at us. When I found out that I had cancer I had to make a conscious decision on how I wanted to handle it.

If I got better, did I want to waste a year of my life being sad and angry, or find what made me grateful be happy and take the lessons that I learned to better my life.

I chose happy and I can tell you it wasn’t easy. The way I looked at it –there is no down side to being happy. That is not to say that I didn’t have my moments of sad and miserable but I found happy was a much better place to be. I believe it was this first decision that helped my family and me get through this with faith and optimism, making each day count.

I felt lucky for so many reasons; I had a family that was so supportive. My husband Jeffrey went to every doctors appointment helped to get me to the doctors that I needed to see, took care of more things than I can even list-------. My children David, Jeremy and Sabina were there to love me (and to give me a purpose). My mother also went to every appointment, became another set of ears to remember what the doctors had said and made me laugh even when there was nothing to laugh about, a real gift ------. My father (alav Hashalom) made sense of all the medical information and researched all the different decisions that were necessary to make, along with the help of my brother. My sister was my personal shopper; chef and confidant--------- My sisters-in-laws and brothers in-laws were there for anything that fell through the cracks. I had a community of friends and family that showered me with care.

I was also very lucky that I was connected to three wonderful woman who when I called picked up the phone and were generous with their time and advice even though we had not as yet met. My Sharsheret women, Jessica Gribetz, Marci Cappel and Rochelle Hirsch, I can never thank you enough for all that you have done for me. Because of how grateful I was for all of your help to me I now speak to other newly diagnosed women in the attempt to help them as I had been helped by you.

Since being diagnosed with breast cancer I have spoken to many woman and have learned that we all handle our diagnoses differently and we all have a right to the decisions we make for ourselves. Many women prefer to keep their diagnoses of cancer to themselves and for these woman there is little or no support. For these women Sharsheret plays an invaluable role. They can get linked to someone who will speak to them, give support and keep their confidence.

Sitting in the chemo chair for the first time surrounded by family, I felt so grateful and I remember making a vow that should I get through this I had to do something positive with this experience. It was in that chair that the idea for a book developed.

(I want to thank my cousin Shera Tuchman for introducing me to her friend Rochelle Hirsch.
I want to thank Rochie (the founder of Sharsheret) for getting Rochelle and me to get this book out of my book bag, to see the light of day. Things happen for a reason - at least I think they do. As I was sitting Shiva for my father, Rochie and Rochelle were seated next to each other at a luncheon where Rochelle showed Roche our book, and here we are today.

Lumps and Bumps was a collaborative effort. I had done some research for another book idea and found out that there were no children’s books for children whose mothers had breast cancer. Being mothers ourselves and knowing first hand how hard it is to share a breast cancer diagnoses with our own children we knew how helpful a book on this subject would be. I mentioned the need to Rochelle and she replied, “I can do that! I write poems for people’s simchas”. Within a week she had written a story in verse. She then called me and said “you’re artistic - would you illustrate it?” I had never illustrated anything before. I didn’t know if I would be able to, so I tried, and many, many pictures later I am an Illustrator! Together we worked on the story the words and pictures. Two years, and many revisions later we have a book! As the book developed so did we. I know that I can speak for Rochelle and tell you that we feel very proud of this book. We put our hearts and souls into LUMPS AND BUMPS. Our hope is that this book will help the many families facing breast cancer, to help them at a very difficult time, by giving them the tools to start a dialogue and to let them know that they are not alone. It is sensitive to both the mother and the children they will read it to. This story belongs to many, and we hope this book can serve as a guide.


In closing I would like to quote my mother quoting my grandmother -------------------------
G-d’s salvation can happen in the blink of an eye. Good health to us all! Thank you so much for coming and supporting Sharsheret.

Suffy Rudman's Remarks

Suffy Rudman
Lisa Altman Volunteer Tribute Award
Sharsheret Benefit Luncheon 2009

Every person has a unique way of expressing their emotion. Some people laugh, some people cry, and some do nothing at all. I sing. It is the way I express my feeling, spirit and character. Music has always had the power to touch my soul, and singing has always been my most expressive tool.

A few years ago I learned that my dear friend was battling breast cancer. Wanting to help her in any way I was able, I started attending the Sharsheret breakfasts. Year after year, I was truly inspired by the strength of the women involved in Sharsheret. Not only were the survivors courageous and exceptional people, but the leaders and volunteers of the organization were just as impressive. The dedication and the manner in which their services were being presented, was truly remarkable. I remember one year sitting at one of these tables thinking to myself- how can I contribute to all of this? The only inspiration that I knew how to provide was with my music, my singing.

And so, I decided to fulfill a dream that I had always had, and just needed the right motivation to accomplish - I recorded an album. I pulled together a collection of inspirational and uplifting songs for the album, believe, and worked on its recording for several months. With financial backing from family and friends, the album was released in June 2005, and all of its proceeds have gone to Sharsheret. Every time I perform and everywhere I go, people have come to learn about Sharsheret - and that, perhaps, has been my greatest contribution- just spreading that knowledge. For if just one person has been able to benefit from the gifts of Sharsheret, then that is one person who does not have to fight this battle alone.

So I thank you today for giving me this honor, but in reality, I am so grateful to all of you for letting me be a part of this wonderful organization.

I wouldn't be able to accept this without acknowledging my dear husband, Yaakov, without whom I never could have followed my dreams. We both know that I never could have done this without your ongoing support and encouragement. To my dear children, thank you for letting me take the time out for my singing and thank you for letting our house be one that is always filled with music. I want to thank my family, my parents, my sisters, and my dear friends, some of whom have travelled so far to be here today - your presence means the world to me -
And lastly, I dedicate my music to those brave and courageous individuals who battle this disease. I hope that in some small way my music brings you joy and comfort, and gives you the strength to keep fighting.

And again, thank you to Sharsheret for this very heart warming honor.